Writing this blog is one of the more difficult things I have done in a long time. For my readers, I am sure you can feel my passion for kids with Autism and Emotional/Behavioral Disorders through my writing. That is what makes the following information hard to even put down into words. After 8 inspiring years in special education, I have made the decision to resign, not just from my current role, but from education in general. I teetered back and forth with starting my own in home behavior therapy model, but I ended up going to the world of business; sales to be specific.

I know many people wonder why someone with so much passion about special education would just up and quit. I continue to ask myself this same question. To be honest, I don’t have much of a reason. I would say the driving force for me is to find a career where I am able to be more available to my personal children. Honestly, teaching is a great job for a mom with young children, but I chose to work in a county different from where I live. This made it impossible for me to just pop over my Lottie’s school and volunteer. It limited my access to supporting my personal child in her educational journey. I need more time to give to my personal children as their days of being young are so blatantly obvious to me now. Two months ago, I was doing “This Little Piggy” on Lottie’s 10 little toes in the bathtub, and now she insists on showering without me or her sister being involved. In two short months, Lottie went from watching Sophia the First and Henry HuggleMonster to You Tubing Disney Infinity How-To Tutorials, and she does so without guidance. In two short months, I went from spelling secret codes to my husband about Lottie to Lottie spelling secret codes to me about Bitty. In two short months…

Yesterday, I sat in the congregation of Corners Church and listened to our well-spoken preacher’s message about serving others and doing more than just quoting, reading and memorizing scripture. This is when it hit me the hardest that I was giving up a job where I have whole-heartedly served others on a daily basis for eight consecutive years. In fact, it was my job description. I loved and still love every child that walked through my door. From the second they step foot into my room, they are my family. I poured my heart into them and to be honest, I probably allowed myself to become too close to them.

Now I’ll be honest, some of them have worked very hard to break me emotionally and at times physically, but they didn’t break my love for them, and I know that they loved me back. I have been shattered to tears in my classroom numerous times both out of pain for my kid’s struggles and the pain that they intentionally inflicted upon me, but at the end of the day, I was there for them. I served them, and I guided them. I provided them the support and opportunity to succeed even when the world told them they couldn’t or wouldn’t.

To this day, I have kids I taught my first year text me and Facebook me. On Mother’s Day, I got a text from one of my students who lost his mother two years ago. His text was simple, but it showed me that I made a difference to him. “Happy Mother’s Day Miss. Foster! I love you.”

And now here I sit in my final days as a proud educator asking myself, “Am I making a mistake?”

Perhaps it’s the nostalgia of packing up my office or getting that text on Mother’s Day or driving the same route I have driven for 8 years for the final times, or simply the fact that the end of school for me is always emotional for me, but something keeps pulling at my heart-strings. I know I will find a way to serve these amazing and unique kids in a different capacity, but right now saying goodbye to this career is incredibly difficult. I trust in my decision, and I know I will look back to this blog in a few years and realize that the end of this career is not the end of my ability to make a difference in the lives of others.

I hope that my friends out there will still use me as a resource for special education and behavior management, as I know this passion will be forever within me. I can’t promise to have as many tricks up my sleeve as I do now since I won’t be living it day-to-day and experimenting with what works and doesn’t work, but I will give it my best. Well I take that back, Bitty, my second child, will continue to give me behavior management exercise- sweet little Bitty.

Thank you all for reading my craziness over the years. Thank you for loving me at my top of top and bottom of bottom. For the parents of my kids, thank you for sharing them with me and letting them leave their mark on my life. To my kids, words can’t describe how proud I am of you, and I will always be so honored to say I was your teacher.

Until next time…. keep behaving louder so I can always hear you.