EBD

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Homework is Perfect for the Perfectly Average

This year I took on a new job where I see a totally different perspective of special education. It’s not a bad side or a good side, just a different side. The change has been quite trying, and there are days that I truly don’t want to go to work. Good Grief I have become more honest in my older age. Don’t get me wrong, I have amazing days as well.

That being said, one of the biggest highlights in my new job is the intellectual conversations I get to have with my coworkers. The other day, we were collaborating, and one of them said something that I have been reflecting upon ever since. She said that homework is nonsense. As a group we discussed how cool it would be to have a school or even a school district who piloted a No Homework policy for just one year.

Something I learned right out of the gate in this new position is to hold my tongue until I have given my brain adequate time to reflect, see all sides, internally dialogue and filter my thoughts. There is very little casual conversation in this role and oftentimes, my casual brainstorming can be used a factual guidance. Of course, my casual thoughts are tweaked a bit to be more fitting to the listened ultimate goal. OK that was a random tangent back to the topic. The whole point was I stayed quiet on this statement/idea until I had time to reflect on it and think about where I truly stood on the subject.

After that conversation took place, I reflected on what a school with no homework would look like. Would their scores tank? Would kids fall behind? Would they have time to learn everything they are expected to learn? Would our kids be prepared for college?

In the special education world, we are dealing with overwhelming and rapidly increasing levels of anxiety, OCD, behavior disorders, defiance, refusal, stress-based gastrointestinal issues, etc. When I think of the root of most of these problems, it starts at home. Trust me, this has nothing to do with parenting. Heck, I am a mother of a 5-year-old with unnatural anxiety and fear of separation, so no it’s not parents. The root of most of these anxiety-based issues is the incredible demands that we as a nation are putting on our children.

When I think back to my childhood, I had homework, but I don’t remember a time where I thought I was overwhelmed with it or couldn’t find time to play because I had 3 hours of work to do. The demands on children which ultimately lie on the back of parents and guardians are simply too high. There are a handful of kids who love homework and do it without a fight from their parents. It is natural and something that they intrinsically choose to do. With or without a homework policy, these students will still use their leisure time to learn more, study more and continue to strengthen their personal knowledge.

I would love to see a school adopt a No Homework Policy for one year while heavily encouraging the use of this valuable time to be time for dinner as a family, cooking together, going for walks, playing outside, watching a movie together or any other stress-reliving activity. This would promote both positive parents/children relationships and good health. My guess is that test scores would still remain the same, but the well-being of the children will be much more stable.

I am not sure what homework looks like at your house, but in all of the meetings I have sat it, it has been a major source of anxiety and disconnect in both students and parents. Just the simple step of lugging home 5 binders full of notes and then filtering through what the homework expectation is is enough to start the family time off to a stress-filled start. “Welcome home, get to work.” After 8 hours of learning, rule following and structure, parents and students both need time to simply decompress. I guarantee that the 3 extra hours of route learning, parent-enforced, drill and rep assignments are not moving us as a country to the highest level of academia, rather it is increasing depression, anxiety and disconnect with our students and children. How nice would it be to come home and know that family time will be exactly that- quality time spent together.

I know this will be a controversial blog entry, and I am prepared for that, but understand, it is simply my opinion and it’s worth exactly what you paid for it. 🙂

‘Tis the Senses
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‘Tis the Senses

“Ring, Ring, Ring…Meeeeeerry Christmas!” says the Red Cross, bell-ringing, money-collecting volunteer in his red vest and Santa hat. I really do loves those guys, and I love the cause, but that little sound triggers two parts of my brain. The first side of my brain is happy and excited about his oh-so-premature presence as it gets me in the spirit of Christmas and Thanksgiving. The other side of my brain cringes in anticipation of the behaviors that will start to surface with this time of year.

It’s taken me quite awhile to put my finger on why my kids with Behavior Disorders and Autism seem so “off” in October, November and December. After collecting years of data on behavior and antecedents for particular behaviors, I think a lot of it comes from the lack of structure combined with the sensory overload that accompany the holidays.

LACK OF STRUCTURE: When structure is initially implemented, these kids resist it, and there will likely be a heightened frequency and intensity of behavior. Implementing structure is a transition for kids. Often times, as a teacher, you consider transition the times between classes, lunch and grade levels. Transition doesn’t stop there. Transition is constant in the minds of children with Autism and Behavior Disorders.

Think about this, Little Timmy, flaming in all his EBD glory, has been in school since August. It’s mid September now, and he is starting to get into his routine at school. He has a place to sit in the overly-stimulating cafeteria. He sits with two other boys, and they talk about Legos and the cute girl who doesn’t know they exist. He has finally mastered opening his locker without having to ask for help from a teacher which for eight weeks has opened the door for ridicule from his peers with superior adaptive skills. He made his first C on a test after ripping up the first three which were hand delivered to him with a bright red F on the front page. This test is on the fridge at home next to his gifted brother’s stack of A+ tests which require magnetic reinforcement to hold them all in place. Timmy’s parents notice that he is waking up on his own and genuinely looking forward to getting on the bus to come to his structure-based classroom. Timmy is making progress.

Six weeks pass, and now he is really rocking. In some situations, he is even a leader. He simply knows what to expect, and he is covered in positive reinforcement. Now here comes Halloween. Everyone is buzzing about what they plan to be and what their favorite candy is. They discuss the plans for the typical teenage pranks and decide what neighborhood to meet in. Its’ then that it hits Timmy; Timmy’s life and friends are solely based inside the walls of the school. His friends don’t bleed into his home life. Timmy missed his friends at school because those are the ones with which he found commonalities.

Timmy gets sad inside and he starts to withdraw from the successes he has been riding on for the last two months. Timmy is sad, but again he doesn’t know why and doesn’t know how to tell anyone that he is sad. He Speaks Behavior. Timmy toughs through and is anxious to get back after the hype of Halloween simmers down.

Two weeks pass, and Timmy is back in his rhythm. Yes, one day (Hype-o-Ween) takes two weeks to reestablish that routine for most kids. Halloween is behind him, and he is rocking and rolling his way along. And then it hits him, he has two more weeks until it’s Thanksgiving, another long break. This break is not structured. Here comes the behavior again. He is trying to hold it together as he knows he needs to embrace the last two weeks he has, but he simply doesn’t know how to balance the anxiety/excitement of the break and the happiness he unknowingly finds in his routine at school. Hello Behavior, how I have missed you!

SOLUTION: Provide Timmy with what to expect for these breaks. He needs to know that there will be structure. I encourage the parents of these kiddos to ask the teacher for what they can implement at home that will help him have structure. Create a schedule for Timmy. Make it visual and realistic. Schedule relaxation time. Schedule video game time, but allow him to earn more than the schedule allows. Explain this to him. Timmy needs structure. He needs to know what is happening next and next and next and next.

SENSORY OVERLOAD: If I listed the sensory triggers than accompany Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas, I would have an endless blog entry. When I walk into Starbucks in October, I absolutely love the smell of a Pumpkin Latte. November rolls around and you walk through the wall of Cinnamon Broom smells at every grocery store. December hits and you have to walk past the ear-piercing ring of the Red Cross man to get into the store that is blasting Christmas tunes with squeaky chipmunks and catchy choruses. Within the store there are blinky lights, bright lights, blue lights and white lights. There are moving Santas and inflatable reindeer marching across the lawn section at the Home Depot. Everything around you is moving and bright and smelly. You don’t have sensory issues, so you take it all in and experience the love and warmth that comes with the holiday season.

Then there is Timmy. All of the above sensory stimuli just about push Timmy off the edge. For Timmy, a family gathering full of stories, laughter and clicking of silverware on China plates may sound like a freight train in his head. For Timmy, the mall is just way too much. For Timmy, blinky lights are the enemy and he just wants them to turn off. Timmy wants to be in his comfortable 74 degree classroom, with the lights out and the ambient light shining through his wall of windows. His classroom is quite and all he hears is the sound of the heat coming through the vents. The room smells like concrete and textbooks. Timmy likes it here.

SOLUTION: Allow Timmy to wear his headphones to the mall if he MUST go. Let Timmy pick out the Christmas decorations and be sure to ask him which Christmas lights make him feel the most comfortable (be prepared to have a blue Christmas). Allow him to help decide where the tree will go and how many ornaments would look good on the tree (be prepared if he isn’t interested in ornaments at all- it’s ok) . Before buying a huge animated inflatable for the front yard, ask Timmy if he likes those or if they just plain creep him out. You just may end up with an extra $100 in your pocket for the Red Cross Ringer.

In summary, be aware of these sweet children and their needs. Do not assume that Christmas tree scent, blinky icicle lights and hectic trips to the mall are in the best interest of them. Be patient with them as they attempt to adapt to the lack of their structure. Help them feel safe. At some point, as parents and teachers, we have to be ok with letting go of our traditions and begin creating a comfortable tradition for our special ones.

‘Tis The Season!

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They Don’t Care What You Had for Dinner

Building relationships with children is the easiest way to change behavior. Of course, this task is much easier said than done. The root of the word “relationship” is “relate”. This is where things get sticky. It is impossible to relate to a child with behavioral disorders by asking them their favorite food or color or movie. It is much more than knowing that they like soccer, had pizza for dinner and don’t like their little sister. It’s about truly getting to know them as a child. One must put their behavior and words behind them and focus on the whole child.

Building a relationship and relating with children who are so different than you is not easy. As adults, we enjoy cooking, reading magazines and silence. Kids much prefer a Happy Meal to a Filet Mignon. They think magazines are solely for creating collages in Language Arts class, and they are uncomfortable with silence.

So, how do we relate to these kids? The answer is ever changing. Trust me; I am not expert at this, nor am I even close. I know that middle school boys don’t care about my last tennis match or the fact that Blake and I made homemade sushi. They don’t care about my youngest daughter saying “cheese” for the camera for the first time or that my oldest still cries daily when I drop her off to school.

In order to relate to kids, we have to find out what makes them tick. If it is video games, then learn about the ones they like. Bring in magazines or look on the internet with them and engage in this interest. Look into their eyes, and ask them questions. Learn more than just the name of the game. Ask about the characters, the goal, and the strategy they use when they play it. This allows the student to be the teacher, and it also allows them to see that we (as teachers, parents and adults) do not know everything and we NEED them to teach us. Allowing them to be a leader increases their confidence and takes away their need for a future power struggle. It also gives us the ammo we need to distract them when they begin to meltdown.

Right now, the child I am pouring my heart and soul into is an 8th grade boy who was a gypsy on the streets of a third world country for the first 10 years of his life. By gypsy, I mean he truly wandered without parents or any consistent adult or leader. After this, he was put into an orphanage for 2 years before he was adopted by his American parents. (Side note, how awesome are they for taking on this amazing task and saving this boy’s life?)
Each morning, this young man comes into my room. We are divided by the imaginary wall of language as he speaks very little English. When I speak, he reminds me that he doesn’t know what I am saying. Rather than giving up, I use visuals to communicate. I smile at him. I look into his eyes and tell him I am proud of him, while non-verbally opening my eyes wide with affirmation and giving him a thumbs up so he knows that I am pleased with his presence. I will create a bond with this child before he walks out of my school, this I promise you.

I have been working with him for one month now and his behavior has improved greatly. He was struggling with showing respect for authority figures and following classroom rules. Sure, he works on a behavior contract with me which helps, but I truly feel like the main behavior changer for him is to know he can come to me in the afternoon, and I will do all I can to tell him how proud I am of him. I truly love this child and he knows this.

I am finding a way to relate to him without the use of English language. I know what he likes, and I know what he doesn’t like. He knows that he can come to me when the world around him seems surreal. Can you imagine wandering the unpaved streets of your country day in and day out searching for food and fighting your way through life, and then ending up in a very affluent suburban town outside of Atlanta? Imagine having never stepped foot into a school and then walking into a school with flat screen photo displays on the walls, iPads in classrooms, and necklace microphones on teachers for a more clear delivery of the Dichotomous Key, Algebra, or Southeastern Asian Economics lessons. I would imagine that following directions and respecting said microphone accessory-wearing teachers would be a lot to ask.

After talking to his “dad” the other day, I learned that my little gypsy enjoys talking to me more than his outside therapist. When I asked his dad why he said this, his dad told me that my little gypsy thinks I am “real”. BINGO! My heart melted.

So, relate with these kids. Learn who they are. Learn what motivates them. Let them be leaders. Look them in the eyes. Touch them. Let them feel your love. They thrive on love and consistency. Their behavior has become their crutch to obtain your attention, and they can’t differentiate the positive and negative form of attention. Feed them with positive attention and get to know these kids. They are normal children who have been jaded by their impulsivity that they can’t control without you to teach them. Can you RELATE?